Blood in the Water

50 Cent is almost done. His career is burning in the oven like the weak little cornish game hen that it is. The only thing he has to offer is the megamoney his profile attracts. And he's Dr. Dre's Frankenstein monster, so sometimes we get songs like this:



But the fact is that 50 based his career on feuding with rappers just big enough to make waves in the media but not so big as to pose a threat. See Ja Rule. His newest target, Rick Ross, should have been easy pickings. The guy is basically a circus prize huge teddy bear with expensive sunglasses. But Curtis is getting trounced, and I think it's because of two things: a) he doesn't remember how to have fun anymore. He never had a sense of humor, but at least "In Da Club" was something you could listen to to put yourself in a good mood. Now he's all pathos and teen-locked-in-the-bathroom-level surliness. b) He's lost in his own plot. A career founded upon wedgies is unsustainable, and he appears to have finally encountered a PR team savvier than his own.

Rick Ross is a big stupid idiot. But he's trying. The video for "Magnificent" was fairly good, especially considering he managed to make John Legend seem cool for half a minute.



Compare to the only diss track 50 has released since the beef began, only one of three or four songs period released this year.



Trying to use gameplay footage from his own video game to appear threatening is about as effective as having his mom talk consternatingly to Ross' mom. What are you, twelve? Are you at a sleepover? Are you going to hit him in the head with an XBox controller for beating you at Halo and then threaten never to hang out ever again?